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Teaching Our Children: A Witness for S.B. 33 Looks Back
Eileen Herring
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California's official state policy of reuniting child sexual abuse victims with their perpetrators took a terrible toll on many people's childhoods… and adulthoods. The young victims were not only hurt grievously by adults who should have loved them, they were betrayed a second time by the State. In the spring of 2005, under pressure to "prove" to Sacramento politicians that there were really victims (and there were tens of thousands), PROTECT volunteers began talking to survivors of California's incest loophole laws. Many—still confused, distrustful and in pain—could not testify. But Eileen Herring was ready. The 14-year old girl who once stood up to a judge and refused to attend "therapy" with her abuser was now a grown woman and mother. Like Melissa H., another witness, Herring's story was tragic: it was the story of a child who pleaded for help and instead was forced into "therapy" and then "reunified" with her abuser, only to be hurt again. Now, Herring believes that the passage of the Circle of Trust bill offers new hope, and new lessons for our children.
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My name is Eileen Herring. I was sexually abused by two of my brothers and my biological father beginning at the age of 6. When I discovered what had been happening to me was supposed to be against the law, I called Child Protective Services on my own behalf. I was 14 years old. I was placed in foster care while the case went to trial. My brothers were never charged with a crime. My father was charged and eventually pled guilty. He was able to bargain a deal: probation and community service.
We were sentenced to family counseling.
When I refused to attend the first counseling session, I was told that if I did not attend the sessions I would be placed in juvenile hall for defying a court order. So, my abuser was sentenced to wear an orange vest and pick-up trash in the parks for his crimes against me, and I was going to be put behind bars for not going to counseling with him. While in counseling, I was told that the reason my father committed these crimes against me was because he was suffering from "stress." Counseling lasted a few months until We were proclaimed "healed" and I was placed back into my parents' home. Once again, my father began sexually abusing me. Why didn't I call Child Protective Services again? I gave up. I no longer trusted the justice system to provide any justice for me. I felt I had no choice but to endure.
Opponents of the Circle of Trust bill will tell you that statistics show that pedophiles that receive counseling instead of jail time have a low recidivism (reoffense) rate. What I will tell you is that the children who have gone through abuse such as this, abuse not only by their parents or guardians, but abuse by the justice system, will no longer report abuses against them. It's not that they are no longer abused, it's that they are no longer reporting it.
Children need to know that what happened to them is indeed a crime. I believe that teaching children that what happened to them is a crime is a step towards breaking the cycle of abuse in families.
I was asked several times by my family why I would put myself on the stand, why I would put myself through testifying before committee after committee. I was told this would bring no restitution to the crimes committed against me. But if telling my story and speaking my truth will stop one child from enduring injustice, it will be worth it to me. I will tell my story every single day for the rest of my life if I can help even one child. I am proud to say I am now a card carrying member of the National Association to Protect Children.
I also want to say how awed I was in the strength of support this campaign received from groups such as Bikers Against Child Abuse, the National Association to Protect Children and in the strength of character Senator Battin showed time and time again in the face of adversity against this legislation. It showed me that superheroes are not the ones with names like Superman and Wonder Woman and they don't always wear capes. Sometimes, they wear a suit and tie or even a leather vest. Anyone can be a superhero if they care enough. Anyone can. Even you or I can.
I'm told that California tends to be in the forefront of new ideas and themes for our country. I'd like to believe that, even though this particular fight seemed to take longer here in California than in other states. I'd like to believe that California can set a precedent by making this change in the law. California can stand in front of other legislators to say that, "We value our children. We will put justice and protection for them before anything else because they are our future."
I truly believe that by reinforcing what I know those children know in their hearts, that what happened to them is wrong, we will raise a generation of children who feel valued, who will eventually feel strong enough to have children of their own, that they too will treat their children with value. We will be teaching them that they do indeed matter.
Some say I'm an optimist. I'd like to believe that, despite my background, I am indeed an optimist. I hope that someday the abuse of children will be something that we teach about in history classes like we teach about slavery. I'd like to think that someday, somehow we could abolish child abuse in our nation and be the example for other nations of our planet. But perhaps, I'm only dreaming.
Or am I? Some said that Senate Bill 33 would never pass. They were wrong.
Copyright © 2005 Eileen Herring. All rights reserved.
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